[x]

To the lonely sea and the skyin the dim of twilight
I feel immortal
but I feel blue;
stardust and sun drenched
torsos

watercolor pain

like the desert misses the rain

I remember you:
a sky of smog
coasting on thin ice,
limbs tangled
around the
sextile sun and uranus

bones

dust

insomnia on the silvermoon

but I am the wayward child
and there's a hole in my soul,
so please show me

show me what the stars look like tonight.

UsedA pillow soaked with tears.
My tears.

I cry all the time out of lonlieness now.

When will you love me again?
Or will you just use me?
Really now, be honest.
Truthful.
Hate me? Why? i've been nothing but nice!

And I've always cared.
Now you're leaving.
You don't care anymore.
Try is all I did.
However, you just used me.
I only wanted a best friend.
Now you don't want me.
Good grief!

Tell me what I did wrong!
Oppressed you? Never!

Your ideas were always great!
Ooutstanding, evem! You're gone now. You don't care.
Used me. That's all I ever was to you.

Clarity"Come. You be a gear right here,"
she dares and she is tempting. I admit,
enclosed worlds don't appeal to me.
I am embers on the highway.
I'll forge myself into something greater.
The harvest suits me not, so forth I'll go;
judge me not.

Show me how the sun rises.
Even in the dead of winter,
I am scorched like the Earth from the inside-out.
The heat of this nameless, godless desert is trapped within my wounds.

Follow the shuffling feet,
the bloodied shapes
like patchwork hope sewn together from someone else's sacrifice.
Unmistakable, undeniable, guilty;
but the answer will have escaped you.
With the perfect clarity of ragged eyes
all become

whatever befalls the last star in the skyBeautiful Doom,
oh, she falls
93 million miles from the sun, part ii

in an inhuman race [8/365]
the world is going down
and she cradles the sky in her arms
and wonders the whereabouts of God

I should write this down.holy shit I should write this down -

the bad advice kills me;
like self publish WAY before they're ready.
how can we make it better?

you don't write to get a DD;
you write something awesome and then get a DD because you're there.

you don't pay to be published.

publishing isn't the end all be all.

we're ready for you.

LonelyBy myself again.
I don't go anywhere.
To do anything. So I sit there,
Twining my fingers together in boredom.
Except - I don't have to be.
Really. I could call a friend.

The answering machine picks up.
Eventually I leave a message to call me back.
And I cry, because I hate being alone.
Rewinding my VHS tape, I play my favourite movie.
Sad one, though. It's Fried Green Tomatoes.

I hate being alone.

Cause it hurts. It's scary.
Radical thought run through my head when I'm alone.
You guys, please don't leave me, I request as tears run down my face...

AvoidingWhen you're not here, I feel empty.
How much? A lot.
You're avoiding me.

And I'm sad.
Remember me? Or have I become invisible again?
Exceptional. That's what you used to call me.

You used to want to hang out all the time.
Outstanding, the way things change so suddenly.
Underneath my covers, I feel scared I'll lose you.

And yet, i don't call you. Because I'm scared of you, too.
Very much so. I don't want to be yeled at.
Only -
I miss you so much.
Do you miss me?
I waant to talk to you! But you're -
Not talking to me anymore.
Good grief, do you not want me anymore?

Maybe you don't. You could have told me, instead of breaking my heart.
Eve

What is Hallowed and CommonI don't know if I believe in love
But I sure as hell hope it doesn't find me.
I've got too much going on to worry about that.
Hell, I don't even want it.

I think.

I see all these other people moaning and groaning about it
Because they haven't found anyone yet.
They use that word for it? "Found"?
What, is it something you just stumble across without meaning to?

If that's it, love sounds pretty damn inconvenient.
I mean, you're not prepared for it.
You don't know exactly what to do with it,
the first time.

And things like that mess up everything.

Those star-eyed idiots say it isn't so.
That it's supposed to be unexpected.
Well, so is a mug

No fairI dont know why I cant be treated fairly,
Its probably because I act so nicely
That everyone never seems to worry
When I get hurt that I'll just hurry
To work to make it all better
Even though I wasnt the bed wetter.
I wasnt the one who lied or cheated
And yet I'm the one who needs to be hated.
I've given second chances to those who dont need them
But still get resented and horribly treated.
My kindness has continued to be taken for granted
So now my care has become dienchanted.
At this point I've nearly given up on my hopes,
But doing so woudle make me worse then those dopes.

Solo es una mision y nada masPrologo:

A veces la vida da una vuelta de 360° sin darte cuenta,mi vida cambio de pagina, hubo otro comienzo,no el mas agradable pero empezo algo asi, era mi cumple años numero 16, yo no esperaba celebrar pero mis padres insistieron, nos acababamos de mudar hace unas semanas, la verdad nose porque razon, mis padres decian que era por "trabajo" yo solo sabia que estaria aqui un buen rato, eran vacaciones asi que no tendria que preocuparme por la escuela, mis padres platicaban con los vecinos que eran la vecina Adeleine y su hijo de 13 años Renee, su padre habia muerto en un accidente en auto, yo solo intentaba quitarme el ri

Don't Walk In My Shoes (contest entry)Mom seems to hate me - always on about my grades.
Yet all I do is try my best.

Little good it does though.
I'm still going to get bad grades.
Future outlook? Not great.
Even though I try, I suck.

Still can't raise my grades. Can't be with friends.
Understand? I don't. Hang out with friends, she says. I make plans.
Can I go? I ask. No, she says.
Kicks me in the emotions. Parent logc.
Stupid, isn't it?

Rendering my life anti-social.
Even though they want me to be social.
And I hardly ever get out.
Like, I almost never ask either so I don't get yelled at.
Love them, do I? you ask.
Yes, I suppose. But I prefer home over school because -

Bulli

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Sevgi Gosterisiby ~siyah

Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Visual & Found Poetry

Yagmura Sarıldım...
O Bulutu Bıraktı...
Düşüyoruz Birlikte...

foto:koltuğum...
yazı:kalbim...

~dekabrist21 Apr 12, 2009

hocam mest oldum yüregine sağlık

~siyah Apr 25, 2009 Professional Digital Artist

teşekkürler...

~huzunkovankusu Jul 17, 2006

wala dicek bişe bulamadım... "ben senin en çok sevdiğinsem, uğruma feda edemediğine sevgin ne kadar"....öylece kaldım...beğendiğimi anatacak kelimede yok...mütiş gerçekten...

~siyah Jul 17, 2006 Professional Digital Artist

_{müthiş acı...

ben ancak o yukarıdakilerini söyleyebildim işte...}

!Bunises Jun 6, 2006

Dedik ya dün ki gibi, bir değişiklik yoktu. Artık kader, insanlığımıza biz ise kaderimize alışmıştık. Birşeyler söylemek yersizdi. Çünkü o zamanlarda bir şeyler söyleyemiyorduk. Söyleyebildiğimiz şeyler bizi, biz ise söyleyebildiklerimizi yansıtmıyorduk. Bu anlamsız karmaşanın içerisinde insan duyumsayabileceği şeylere ne kadar yakın olabilirdi. Bilmiyorduk...ve ağlıyorduk. İçten.. ve derinden. Yine kimsenin anlayamadığı, yine kimseye anlatamadığımız şekilde. Geçmiş ve gelecekler için.

Umutu solgunlaştırmıştı bahar, hani derin derin içimize çektiğimiz hava vardı ya onun gibi. Tüm bunlar ise şu yaşanmışlık dediğimiz hayatın içerisin de nefes aldırmaya çalıştığımız ruhumuza aitti. Bu güzellikleri görmek yetmiyor, hürriyet dediğimiz şeyi ise sadece ve sadece kuru bir "iç çekişte" arıyorduk. Ve biz bilmiyorduk: Her zamanki gibi en çok sevdiğimiz;ama asla alamadığımız o susamlı bisküviler gibi sadece son kullanma tarihi geçmiş duygularla sevişiyorduk...Bir gece kendimizi kaybettiğimiz boş veya dolu-önemli olmayan, önemli olanın ise "bardağa nereden baktığına bağlı" olduğu pencere önünde sadece sessizce oturuyorduk.

Uğuldamalar yine yükseliyordu bizden ve dünyadaki herkesten. Herkes haykırıyor, bağırıyor ve sızlanıyordu. Hepsinin kötülüğü ve iyiliği tartışılıyor;ama denkliğine kimsenin aklı yetmiyordu. Bir hikaye daha bitmesi gerekmiyordu.Kuru göz yaşları yeterdi...ama biz korkak ve canavar...buna yetmezdik.

Ama hiç bir şey söyleyemedik yine, hiç bir şey anlatamadık. 2+2 dediğimizde herkes 4'ü sonuç olarak getirse de bizim dediklerimiz bir sonuçtan öteye 5'e yol açıyordu.Sonra tek sığınacağımız nokta karşımıza çıkıyordu...anlaşılmıyorduk...ama düşünmediğimiz gibi anlatamıyorduk. Öylesine bir duygu olsa gerek ya "Aşk":
Söyledik ya hiç başlamamıştı ki... Bir kuzgunun gözlerinde görünen, iki dans eden kişinin hayali.

!asliersuzer Jun 6, 2006

ne kadar ilginç bir tesadüftür ki bir cümlendeki bir bölümü ben de kafamda irdeliyorum şu son zamanlarda...
"...o kadar çok oynar olduk ki duygularla..."
artık ruhsuz olduk, aç kalmış canavarlara döndük.

~siyah Jun 10, 2006 Professional Digital Artist

"ama biz korkak ve canavar...buna yetmezdik."

bunises dedi az yukarıda...

*tuncerpinar Jun 5, 2006 Professional Photographer

ne zamandır bişeyler yazmak isteyip yazamıyordum..bunu okuyunca kendime geldim...
beğendiğimi belirtecek bi kelime arıyorum ama...bulamadım o kelimeyi, klişe bişey de yazılmaz buna...az gelir..

~siyah Jun 10, 2006 Professional Digital Artist

teşekkür ederim beğendiğini belirtme çabalarına,
dert etme, var olmak çok geldi bize...

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